Uncategorized

  • C A U T I O N - VIRUS


    There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.
    This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).
    If you     receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.
    This virus will wipe out your private life     completely.


    If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take
    two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote
    known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer    -Extract (WINE) or
    Bothersome-Employer-Eliminatio    n-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
    repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
    You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5
    friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

  • Good Thinking

     

    The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
    love to a very attractive young woman. She was somewhat upset.

    "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me: a
    faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
    divorce straight away !"

    The husband replied, "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
    you what happened."

    "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to
    me!"

    So the husband began,  "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and
    this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
    defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

    "I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She
    told me that she hadn't eaten for three days ! So, in my compassion, I
    brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night,
    the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The
    poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I
    suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes
    were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
    "Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
    have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too
    tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present,
    which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy
    blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy
    her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique
    and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."

    The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for
    my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to
    me with tears in her eyes and said, " Please, do you have anything else
    that your wife doesn't use?"