interested?

I just posted this Gerber I Pledge widget for 250 credits. You can earn free credits too!

“Aggghhh! Someone dial 911!  I’m being mauled by a troll!”



“I swear a Big Doberman busted in and just tore the place up…”

How to tell when it’s time to make your kids sleep in their own bed….

“Ahhh, the fresh, relaxing aroma of feet….”

Par-tay…par-tay…par-tay!

“Uh…cat?  What cat?”

“Hellllloooooooooo”

“Hi!  Will you be my friends?”

Mad Skills

The good thing about working here – if you need assistance smiling, there’s always help!

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially
and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and
therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.  They are called Saturdays & Sundays. 

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.  There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

does anyone ever read me?
i dont even write or post anything interesting…why do you even still subscribe to me? 

why do people blog?  eh…well…whatever.

this is awesome…

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/look/living-room-house-054781

dang, how long has it been?

why would you flip another driver off when it’s your fault in the first place?


one time i got cut off getting on the freeway.  some dude, without signaling, just cut me off; then opened his moonroof and flipped me off.
it’s bad enough that you cut me off…is it necessary to give me the finger too??  wtf?!

what’s wrong with you people??!